I went through a period of time where I was feeling lonely and scared. That feeling is something that we’ve all felt before and still feel. Days would feel like endless wars while sleepless nights felt like never-ending nightmare loops. I felt out of control because of the environment that I was conformed in,, which made human right of control inevitably challenging to access due to thirst of power. In parts, some of those fears and lack of control stemmed from the driving crave of how others viewed me. In reality, everyone has a story to tell and that story is always told within the eyes of the beholder. I made the mistake countless times believing that I could change those views. I’ve now learned, in a world filled with writers, no matter what you do in life, in the view of someone out there, you are a villain.
With intentions as pure as water and actions as bright as the sun, in the view of someone, you are just an ordinary person. At the end of the day we all want to feel like we belong somewhere and to know that we are being heard and wanted. Without feeling as if we belong, we question if we are just ordinary. We tend to forget that maybe just maybe to someone else, you are not just ordinary. I went into this phase of people pleasing obsession and still at times struggle with this. In this past, this manifested into me feeling like a puppet being placed into others stories. I am fighting to hold onto my morals and love myself more.
